I spent most of my 20s trying to fit into a box. As I approached adulthood, I remember feeling as if society was handing me a questionnaire filled with a bunch of boxes, in which I was so supposed to fit. I knew I wanted to work in a creative field so I tried to fit in the film industry box, but it didn’t feel right. I then decided I wanted to help people, so I tried the non-profit world for size and that was just a disaster. I like people and trends, so I put myself into the public relations box, which obviously did not go well.During my dating days, I did the same thing. I dated several guys who fit several stereotypes, and I desperately wanted to be their stereotypical match. That was awkward, as you could imagine.Even after falling in love with writing, I found boxes in that world, too. I was constantly struggling to define my category of writing and my style. I moved around from topic to topic and realized I liked them all!Eventually, I found the kind of writing I do today. I don’t want to put myself in a box, but let’s call it personal development writing. I knew I wanted to write for myself and not outside publications. This desire forced me into entrepreneurship. At first it felt exhilarating. You know, like when you’re about to go on a roller coaster: a little scary, but also really exciting.The first few weeks of my newfound freedom were fun, until anxiety and worried kicked in. Questions like: What am I doing with my life? What do I really do for a living? Am I blogger? Am I a motivational speaker? I am even qualified to do this work? Who is going to hire? What path do I follow?And before I knew it, I was looking for a box. Could you blame me? Inside those squares are structure, boundaries, and usually a clear reward system built in, if you just follow the instructions. I desperately wanted instructions.Funny, right? The inefficient rules of those cookie-cutter careers are what frustrated me the most. Bosses annoy me. Mandatory office hours, too. And don’t even get me started on wasteful conference calls and weekly meetings.But after spending so many years adhering to a set of instructions, even if it made us miserable, our default is to look for it when it’s missing. It’s what we know. It’s comfortable. It’s safe.Our impulse is not a sign to go back into the box. Growth is uncomfortable. Following our road to greatness is hard. And building the muscles we need to have faith in ourselves takes time.You feel tight in there, because you’re not meant to be in there. You’re an a-la-carte kinda gal. Meaning, you’re designed to pull from different careers, different lifestyles, and different behaviors to create your own life. That is your mission.I have no roadmap for you, but I can offer you the gift of faith. When it comes to stepping outside of your tiny box, what you need is the unfaltering knowledge that this foggy road is the one you’re meant to be on right now. Once you have that, be prepared to work your ass off… and enjoy the happiness that follows, of course.
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